Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Passing On....

(Inspired by a wonderful post by my friend Zephyr Nag)

First quarter of the last century...

She had lost her mother at a very young age. Her father, never remarried, in those days of  alarming step-behaviours,  and his being both father and mother to her was actually an education for her.  Her father , had risen to his position, from very humble beginings by virtue of pure hard work and struggle, and helping out folks who needed resources for education was something he religiously did, and she imbibed an attitude that no formal education could have given her.

Attitudes can never be taught. They have to observed, imbibed and learned. And practised. 

Her own children grew up, with a conservative bringing up, in the face of different lifestyles they observed in their often cosmopolitan classmates. There was entire set of unrelated folks who owed their college education to her and her husband, who assisted them with fees and books, and often, even some counseling. And there was never a pervading spirit of highlighting what-chariity-you-did, have-vs-have-nots-publicity etc ,  in all this giving and taking. This was how life was lived. Period. 

By and by her children settled down in their own lives. And she travelled around the world, being the indulgent grandparent who attended the important milestones in the lives of the grandkids.  Be it someone's graduation,  be it someone's important sports meet , or even someone's annual day or felicitation somewhere. Grandpa didnt travel so much, and so she had to be present.

On  a winter's day in November 2000, at 83, she returned, tired  and jet lagged from attending the eldest grandson's graduation in the US. Her own daughter in India had just returned from attending a state sports meet with her own daughter, and travelled back with grandpa to Mumbai to receive her.  It was Divali, an they would all stay together for a while at the daughter's.    

This granddaughter was an adopted child, who then didnt know about her own adoption. But the daughter's family had made it a point everyyear, to visit the orphanage near their house , during Bhaidooj every Divali, when they took sweets for the kids there  and played with them.

That Bhaidooj, she was still coming out from her jetlag and preferred to rest at home.  Grandpa had just returned from his morning walk, and was reading the papers and getting orgainzed when the family set out for the morning visit.

"So are you guys off to visit the temple ? "  he asked , gesturing at his daughter, son-in-law, grandson and granddaughter .

Before they could answer, she looked up from some vegetables she was sorting and cutting.

 Like so many of her ilk, she could never sit idle; the hands were always busy, helping or giving.

"Yes. Something almost like that . Like a temple. "  she said, looking into the distance, as they waved goodbye to the family off on their annual morning trip to the orphanage.


Her daughter never forgot those words.

They were not to know that, that  was her last day with them. She collapsed that evening , was hospitalized and passed away 2 days later.

One of the biggest legacies she left,  was the understanding, that religion , was not how you did rituals, and got intimidated by Gods and  rules.

It was really, how you learned to give , from what little you had.  It was about respect and empathy for those life stories which were not as happy and secure as yours. It was about thinking something deeper than appearances, looks, and a spik-and-span life.  And it was never something you shouted from the rooftops...

 A learning and a set of values , imbibed, hopefully, by her descendants, over all the years.....



38 comments:

  1. I hope many read this, Suranga. How beautifully you write and perhaps more importantly how profound the message! I am quietened inside...

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    1. Bhavana, Thank you ! Yes, after writing this, I too am quietened inside ....

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  2. Lovely narration, and very moving story!

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  3. The heart is a potpourri of emotions. It was humbling to read about the self-effacing humility and modesty. It leaves me with a sad feeling that people like that have already become angels that belong to the realms of dreams. They just don't belong in this world anymore.

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    1. USP, yes, they don't make them like that anymore .....

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  4. I remember this story and that is the reason why you are such a wonderful human being and mother and a mentor to a whole lot of young girls our there.

    Values are passed on, indeed.

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    1. Zephyr, thank you for he kind words. And, yes, we live and learn...

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  5. This is such a beautiful, motivating story. I wholeheartedly agree with live the behavior as it it is the way of life with dignity and giving in what little you have. You inspire me to be a better parent and person.

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  6. I find it very motivating a profound.
    There is always a quite and yet a strong way to persue our things and you do it the best. I feel so lucky to know you and read you.

    Charity is not an act of articulated benevolence, an attitude that you cannot stop and manipulate. Just that. I can se how it came naturally to these people you have written about :-)

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    1. Sangeeta, thank you! "Charity is not an act of articulated benevolence..." Well said !

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  7. I feel like reading it again n again :)
    beautiful narration with great substance.

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  8. I wish I could be kinder, gentler and more loving and giving many a times. And stories such as these, remind me time and again that what I do today sets the foundation to who my children and my children's children and their children will be tomorrow. Thanks for sharing this inspiring story:)

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  9. An inspiring read! Hope to be able to touch people's lives for the better in my small ways!

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  10. The last 2 paras are so powerful. Really touching...

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  11. Heart warming story... is it real !? Sorry but had to ask !

    Like I always say.. you have a gift to observe and weave stories ! :D

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    1. HW, Thank you, and yes , the story is totally real and actually happened.

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  12. Very beautiful story, very heart touching style of narration...

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  13. Then, why is that life is not lived the way it was lived? When I know it's my life, my responsibility, why do I complain? Loved reading it. Read thrice. Each time it gives me more meaning.

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    1. F-in-F, life isn't lived today the way it was before, because then, it was about gratefully imbibing values, from someone you respected and knew.. Today its about listening to assorted types who market Life, distracting you. Too many distractions...

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  15. Just understanding was enough..religion, rituals, different choices, whatever needed others to understand.

    An awesome story - you had some awesome influences to turn out this way, huh? :-D

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    1. Sangi, Truly, those were awesome times with awesome people...

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  17. The ethics and values of the yesteryears ...
    They are so much better than the shallow and noisy beliefs of these days

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